Congratulations, you have elected to join our ranks and except your $100 reward. In order to expedite your process, The Preservation Society Board of Dictatorial Governance has elected to make the following deductions from your Award of Initiation. This will save you valuable time as you fulfill your duties amongst our ranks. 

• Initiation Fee Covers the cost of processing and filing the member's initial paperwork. - $5

• Membership Fee Entitles the member to all rights and privileges outlined in the Articles of Incorporation and Conduct Bulletin - $7.50

• Permanent Trust Fund Contribution Ensures the future of The Preservation Society by increasing our wealth reserve - $3

• Operating Fee Affords The Preservation Society the funds to purchase paper-clips and other such official supplies - $5.50

• Building Trust Contribution Squirrels away resources that we might someday build an underground facility to provide a foundation for our above ground monument known as The Preservation Society Oralacle of of Mysteries - $2.50

• Loss and Damages Trust Contribution Covers the cost of repairs to property, person or livestock, damaged during official proceedings - $3

• Pin of Distinction Rental Fee Covers the rental cost of the members Pin of Distinction furnished by the The Preservation Society Company Store - $10

• The Preservation Society Starter Kit Provides the member with all documents and chachkies essential to maintaining their good standing - $6

• Shipping and Handling of The Preservation Society Starter Kit Ensures that the member receives their Starter Kit by the most cost effective method of post available - $4.50

• Late Member Induction Penalty As each member is inducted at the time of their induction, a small penalty is incurred for not having signed up earlier. This is that penalty - $1

• Sarsaparilla Fund Covers the cost of justifiable rainy day expenditures - $2

• Pre-paid Retribution Bond Is a pre-paid bond which can be used as payment for any fee which results from retributive measures levied by The a Preservation Society against the member - $15

• Research and Development Trust Ensures that The Preservation Society remains on the cutting edge of all technological and ideological methods as we combat certainty - $5

• First Year of Annual Dues In an uncharacteristic move of generosity, The Preservation Society offers a discounted rate on a member’s annual dues when paid upon induction to the society - $10

• Sansarsaparilla Fund Contribution Not to be confused with The Sarsparilla Fund, The Sansarsaparilla Fund covers the cost of any unjustifiable rainy day expenditures incurred by The Preservation Society - $30