Article IV, Insignia, Heraldry and Publications
The Preservation Society shall be known by the following oaths, utterances, insignia, and publications:
Article IV, Section 1. The Oath of Initiation
Inductor: Please raise your left hand. I, (insert names of initiates) of reasonably sound mind and semi-awareness, pledge my unending service to The Preservation Society, vowing to uphold the constitution and bylaws until I die, or simply neglect to do so.
Initiate: I will.
Will you seek out and unseat certainty so others might become lost?
Inductor: I will
Inductor: Will you contribute your customary dues and fees?
Initiate: I will.
Inductor: Welcome to The Preservation Society. May you progress in good standing and regress in certainty. Certum est Inimicus!
Initiate: Certum est Inimicus!
Article IV, Section 2. The Seal
The seal of The Preservation Society shall be the following.
Article IV, Section 3. The Motto
By using the magic of Google Translate, The Preservation Society Research Sub-Committee managed to decipher our motto in Latin, because it makes it sound fancy. The Preservation Society Motto shall be “Certum est Inimicus.” Having been translated into Latin, our research team did, in fact, re-translate it back into English and received the intended effect. Certainty the Enemy.
At no point is it acceptable for a member to utter The Preservation Society Motto --Certum est Inimicus, incompletely. The only exception to this rule is if one is interrupted by death. If one happens to be snatched by doom having only uttered the “Certum” in “Certum est Inimicus,” the ultimate joke has played out and the deceased is to be congratulated. Death is certainly a certainty and to call it as such amidst the utterance of one’s last words deserves the slowest of slow claps. If such a fate was to befall one of our members a full pardon for their transgression shall be made.
Article IV, Section 4. The Colors
The Colors of The Preservation Society shall be, Crimson and Mint. Crimson is intended to represent the blood of our membership which we would rather not be spilled in defense of our cause. Mint represents the continuous renewal experienced when one embraces uncertainty.
Article IV, Section 5. The Pin of Distinction
The Pin of Distinction shall be bestowed upon each member upon their induction, while supplies last. Each pin shall reside in the individual’s possession as long as they remain in good standing with the society at large. Though the pin resides with the member it remains the property of The Preservation Society in perpetuity. Upon ex-communication or being labeled a Backslidden Deviant, the Pin of Distinction shall be remanded to The Preservation Society. Please deliver all remanded Pins of Distinction to Janet in corporate.
Article IV, Section 6. The Handshake and Official Greeting
The Preservation Society Handshake shall be conducted in the following manner:
“How are you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Congratulations.”
Article IV, Section 7. The Anthem: I Shall Sign Th’Dotted Line
As I gaze on yon horizon
And desireth to be there
The expanse of each step t’ward it
Reminds me of the err’
For the goal is not off yonder
Tis present where I be
So I pledge my heart unto The
Preservation Society
I shall sign (I shall sign)
Th’dotted line (dotted line)
Certainty (certainly)
No friend of mine (no longer pine!)
Sign my name on the list, (our doubt set us adrift!)
I shall sign th’dotted line!
Just what I sign’t up for, (sign me up!)
I could not say (sign me up!)
Ambiguity (is the what!)
It is the way (which is the way?)
Lay my head upon the breast of
the society which unknows best
I shall sign, the dotted line.
I shall sign (I shall sign)
Th’dotted line (dotted line)
Certainty (certainly)
No friend of mine (no longer pine!)
Sign my name on the list, (you get the gist)
I shall sign th’dotted line!
Article IV, Section 8. The Preservation Society Articles of Incorporation
The Preservation Society Articles of Incorporation are the overarching guidelines that the organization uses to provide structure and stability.
Article IV, Section 9. The Preservation Society Conduct Bulletin
The Preservation Society Conduct Bulletin is a day-to-day guide for members to base both their internal and external activities.
Article IV, Section 10. Certainty the Enemy and Official Correspondence
As often as is deemed necessary, The Preservation Society will communicate with our members via official correspondence. For those who have the gumption to seek it out, this correspondence will be found at www.thepreservationsoc.com. For those who lack the energy sufficient to navigate to the digital destination, our official correspondence can come to you by subscribing here.
Article IV, Section 11. Sanctioned Social Media Platforms
In addition to our official correspondence, The Preservation Society maintains a tenuous presence on the following social media.
Twitter, Instagram, Facebook
